Characteristics of a Compulsive Gambler

What does one think when the word immature is said? One might think of a teenage boy who still plays with his food, or a teenage girl who whines a lot. According to a GA group, this "immaturity" is a "desire to have all the good things in life without any great effort on their part". This GA community believes that the best way to describe this is by saying that it is just "a need to have what one wants". Just like a four year old child that is spoiled and gets whatever he or she wishes by not earning it. By comparing these immature adults with four year olds it will clearly show and will be more understanding that both seem to have one desire in common. This desire that they share in common is a type of satisfaction. This satisfaction is based on how each individual reacts, "desire to have" everything they want without thinking of a way to earn it.

"Kids Left in Car While Mom Allegedly Plays the Slots"

Comments I read from this article[http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/comments?type=story&id=4853379#commentBox]were all mostly about how it is wrong to leave children in a car unattended. One thing I was hoping for was to read a comment that came from a child's point of view. Unfortunately I could not find one.

What I think about this is the same as any other person that wrote comments on this article. It is NOT a good thing. Since I was a "victim" I should say what I felt, right? I don't think I talked much about my feelings during the wait.

Well, I do not know how a 2 year old or a 3 month old baby feels. The only feeling I would believe we had in common was fear.

yay!

They didn't go out last night. I guess my aunt and uncle couldn't wait much longer so they went alone. I wonder how they are doing. They don't have any kids so I'm guessing they don't have to worry much.
Now, I still haven't been able to talk to my mother about how she feels about all this. I'm scared she's going to walk away from discussing it or tell me I shouldn't be worrying about any problems between her and my father.

Anyway...yesterday I had a short talk with my father...mostly because I was in trouble. Only that he told me something that hit me. He said he has done many things to my mother that he wishes he had never done. He would rather kill himself than to face all these consquences [and that scared me because I know he has had bad thoughts]. He told me not to do anything that I will regret later on. He said life has tought him a lesson and that if he were born again, many things would not be the same.

From my prospective, I believe he was saying this so I wouldn't do anything stupid with my life. I felt like he was sort of taking it seriously, but then hes said this many times before and STILL went off doing what he does. Yet at the same time, I felt like he WAS taking it seriously....

They're going out

Tonight my mother and father plan to go to the casino with other family members. Now one thing I want to know is if she is being pressured by both my father and family members to go. I'll ask her later on.

I was thinking...

What would happen if my father's gambling addiction went to far? I'm guessing anything could. Could he end up in jail? Maybe. Can he end up like in the movie Pistol Whipped? I hope not.

I remember

Now I remember why my mother was so mad at my father. She seemed upset for the past couple of days. I thought I had done something wrong. I asked what was going on with her and she said it wasn't any of my business.
Later on that day my father asked me if I knew why my mother was so upset. I didn't know.
Whenever my dad came home, my mom would go off to bed without telling him anything, and she would make him sleep on the living room couch. With that, I knew she was mad at him.
My father would tell me to try to cheer her up, he would ask her if she wanted to go out for dinner or go dance. She would always refuse and I thought my father was trying to do something nice for her.
It turned out I was wrong. She told me why she was so upset.
A week before she was mad, we had all gone to San Diego to visit some family. Everytime we go to, my aunts and uncles invite my parents over to the casino. So they went.
On our way back home my parents seemed annoyed by everything, so we didn't bother them. What my mom told me made me think so different.
She said she had wanted to leave the casino because she was starting to lose money. Only that my dad was too into his game that he wouldn't leave. He told her to sit back down and to keep on playing. They were throwing threats to each other like " If you don't leave with me I will leave you and go off with my sisters[mother]" or "You leave and I will come back tomorrow morning[father]"
It turned out my father did what he said he would do. The next day he went back, only that he took some of our savings money. I don't know why he is always trying to prove something. Maybe he's tryng to prove hes "a man" or showing he can't be stop by some woman...
The amount he took was shocking, he had taken $4000!!
Now I can see why she was so mad at him. Once she finished telling me I was also mad at him. I didn't want to talk to him or anything. I know it's messed up that a daughter doesn't respect her father. But did he really earn respect? I don't think so.

And the one thing that annoys me so much is that he acts like if it was nothing! He says "Oh, shes just going crazy, don't listen to your mother." How can he say that about his own wife!

I just hope things get better soon.

RoAr...

You screwed up
Their tender minds can't see
He wants respect
He wont be getting any of that from me

Apology SO not accepted [I wish]

By now you know the story about the parking lot. If not, scroll down until you find it.
Did you read it? Okay, good.
Question: Would you forgive?
1) Let’s say you did forgive. Just like that. Would your forgiveness give him a big impact? Would he react like a kid, who believes sorry will fix everything? Like a dog that eats your food and you don’t discipline him because he looks cute with sauce on his nose. He will take it as a treat and will think it is ok to do it again.
2) Let’s say you didn’t forgive him. Would he think of what he did? Would he then take responsibility of his actions?

I wish I didn’t forgive

If it wasn’t for my sibling being there, I would have cried, maybe even find a way to get home. Since they were there, my father knew it was going to be okay.
Since it was during Christmas time, he heard of an event going on at Huntington Park He was going to take us as a solution to his irresponsibility. How I wanted to scream and kick him at that moment! My sibling, being young, took it as an opportunity to buy things. Now they know that whenever my dad is in these types of situations, it means they won’t tell my mother in exchange for presents. Just like teaching a dog tricks, they obey, they get the treat. How evil is that!?

Question:

"How are children affected by pathological gambling?"

"Children may be affected in several ways. They may be physically and/or emotionally abandoned by their parents, who are unable to provide their children with needed attention and nurturing because of the time spent gambling. "Casino kids" have been left by themselves at the outer rim of casinos while their parents gamble, according to some casino security officers. In some extreme cases, children are left in the family car in the casino parking lot for hours at a time while their parents gamble inside. Less obviously, children may also spend several hours each week with babysitters while their parents gamble in casinos, bingo halls or card rooms. All of these scenarios may lead a child to feel physically and emotionally abandoned.
In addition, the dysfunction that pathological gambling creates in a home often includes spouse and child abuse. Children are abused verbally, mentally and physically by the gambler, and often even more so by the co-dependent spouse. This devastating abuse frequently goes unnoticed or is denied by others as the child suffers in silence.
Another way children are affected by pathological gambling is when they become pathological gamblers themselves. Today, teens are approximately three times more likely than adults to become problem and pathological gamblers. It is imperative that we educate young people about the dangers of pathological gambling and the importance of seeking help if gambling becomes a problem. "

Part of this for me is true. Only that abuse has not happened. I do remember a time when my father was supposed to drop me off somewhere and I needed money, 20 bucks max. He said he didn't have enough on him right now so he was going to go stop somwhere to get some more. Simplest and most logical way is to get some money from the bank, right? Well only this guy goes to the casino and says he was going to win some money so I could have more than a 20 in my hands. Ugh, I waited for him for at least an hour in the parking lot car. I remember staring at the security guard and waited to see if he was going to come over and ask me something. Thank God he didn't come over and ask why I was alone, isn't it illegal to leave your child in an abandoned car? What was I going to tell this security?

Anyway, he ended up wining some extra cash, and it bothered me because he just left me there. As always, he took it as a joke and laughed it off acting like nothing happened.

Through the eyes of an 11 year old

My brother: confusing,frustrated,silly,skates, and anoying...but mostly confused and frustrated.

If you see him, you will imagine him as a healthy boy with friends who always has a smile on his face. True...but only when he is with friends, outside of our indoor world.
Whenever I can, I have talks with him. We talk about how mom and dad are always upset. Once I asked him what he would do if mom and dad divorced.
His response "I don't care." and went off with his friends.
It made me think about how my dad has been affecting my brother's life.
Whenever my brother wants to go out with my father, all my he would say is "no im too tired" "I have to be somewhere else" and most of that "being somewhere else" is the casino.
how sad...

story

I'm a teenage girl that has been living in a one bedroom apartment for 14 years. My parents were introduced to casinos not too long ago by family members. At first I didn't pay much attention to it. They would come home with smiles on their faces and tell me and my younger siblings how they had won some extra money for us. That news would always make us happy because we knew we would be able to get what we wanted.

After two years, problems started. My mother had decided not to go anyomre but my dad really wanted to keep on going. He began to have problems.

Things that happen once somone starts gambling:

• It can ruin relationships (family and friends...)


• Trust can be lost


• Money is lost

Gamblers might not see the damage that is being caused, and that's a problem. One thing I would like them to notice is the damage that it does to their family.

From experience I can say many things. Since my father would not stop going, my mother would get mad. House life changed, she would be upset all the time and would hardly pay much attention to things that happened around the house.

I personally didn't care much at the time, until somethine else happened...

My father took by brother, sister, and I to Chuck E Cheese. Everything was going well. My father said he was going to take a nap in the car for a bit and left us playing inside. After a while, we were all tired and bored and called him. After calling eight times, he wouldn't pick up. So we decided to find the car and wake him up.

After a while, we were not able to find the car and that was when my father called. He made up a story about how he was moving the car and noticed the tire had a nail stuck and air was coming out, so he decided to go fix it.

So there we were, withought money for food or to take the bus back home. My brother and I were really upset and knew where he actually was. He had gone to the casino and left us. He prefers the casino than his own children. What do you think of that?

Gambling

The start of gambling.

Imagine a family of 5. A mother and a father. A 14 year old daughter. An 11 year old son and another daughter, 9 years of age. They were living an okay life until one day, someone decided to go over to the casino. Both mother and father decide to go. When they come back home, they tell their children how much fun they had and how they won some money.

Okay, so they won. No big deal....right?